Me: Is it your goal to give me a headache everyday?
Alex: Yeah, it's my job to do.
Me: I don't want you to grow up, I want you stay 3 forever.
Alex: But I want to grow up, I don't want to stay 3. I want to be 4.
Alex: So I can have another birthday party!
Alex: The Bible is my best [book] in the whole world. It's God's book.
Me: That's right, it's God's word. He told people what to write and they wrote it down for Him.
Alex: Yeah, he's too busy to write it. He's busy helping people in the whole world...like Santa Claus!
Me: Charlotte's birthday is coming up. What should we get her?
Me: Charlotte's a girl, she's probably not as obsessed with trains as you are. We need to get her something that a girl would like.
Alex: Oh...I know, GIRL trains!!!!
Me: Grampa's coming to visit in a few weeks and he's bringing you a surprise!
Alex: What is it?!
Me: I can't tell you or it won't be a surprise.
Alex: Oh...Maybe it's a kangaroo!...Or an astronaut!...Or a house!!!...Or a SINK!!!!
After I told him we couldn't go to the bookstore, he picked up his Thomas the Tank Engine toy, looked at him longingly, and said, "What a great sight for a sad little boy..."
Me: Alex, it is bedtime. Go to sleep, and do not call for "mommy" or "daddy" again or you'll be in big trouble.
Alex: Okay, I won't. [Door closes]................................Anyone...? Anyone......???? ANYONE??!!!
Alex: Moooooooom, I need some juuuuuuuice!!!
Me: Alex, I'm trying to make dinner, Murphy needs to go out, I have to feed Isaac and put him to bed, and you want juice - I can't do a million things at once!
Alex: You don't have to. Just do one thing for me!
Me: Alex, how was Show and Tell today?
Me: Did your friends like the digger you brought?
Alex: Yes, but they tried to play with it and I didn't want to share.
Me: Why not? The whole point of Show and Tell is to take fun things to school so your friends can play with them.
Alex: It's called "Show and Tell", not "Show and Give!"