that's one and half things off the dollar menu

I'm sorry people, but I really need to vent.

Alex's birthday party is this Saturday, and we are doing a casual hot dog cookout with family and friends at a local park. We expect somewhere between 30-35 people, which means I need to have food for 30-35 people. And if you translate that into "Sarah terms", that means that food for 60-70 people should about cover it.

I spent over an hour last night going through all of my coupons - that's several months worth of coupons - weeding out expired coupons and looking for anything I could use to lower an inevitably astronomical grocery bill. I dropped A off at school this morning, and after a couple of quick errands, I headed to the grocery store.

Now, in general, I love my grocery store. The food is fresh, the variety is decent, the sales are good, and every single person that works there smiles, asks how you are, and whether they can help you find anything. I spent almost two hours at the store, piling things into my cart, crossing things off my list, and cross-referencing with my coupons to make sure that I am getting the right products in the right quantities to earn the discounts. You see, I am not one of those people who piles ten thousand things into her cart and then hands the cashier a fistful of coupons that have little-to-no relation to the things she is buying. I make sure that my list matches my coupons so that there is no delay when I get to the register and they scan things through.

This time, however, the register beeped loudly when the cashier scanned my coupon for Planters peanuts, despite the fact that I had triple-checked that what I bought matched what the coupon was discounting. The cashier, however, disputed that fact when I showed her the two jars of Planters dry roasted peanuts in my cart. The coupon said, and I quote, "$1.50 off on any two Planters products", and pictured below the text were three cans of Planters nuts - dry roasted peanuts, party peanuts, and cashews. I explained to the cashier that I had, indeed, bought two jars of Planters products, and thus, the coupon should apply. She went on to argue that the items pictured on the coupon were cans and not jars. I reiterated the word "any" that was clearly marked on the coupon, and explained that the word "any" implied, oh I don't know, that ANY Planters product qualified for the discount, whether that ANYTHING was in a jar or a can.

She continued to state that, if it wasn't pictured on the coupon, the coupon didn't apply. I tried to explain that the manufacturer couldn't possibly picture every single Planters product that that their store carries on a coupon that measures 1.5 x 2 inches, so they picture examples of some of their products, in this case, canned nuts, and then assume that the customer will be smart enough to decipher the word "any" that is conveniently printed on the coupon. For example, have you ever seen a coupon for Jello? Generally, a coupon for Jello features a single box of Jello in some popular flavor, like Strawberry or maybe Grape, and then the text on the coupon specifies that "any" flavor of Jello qualifies for the discount. And why is that? BECAUSE THEY CAN'T FIT ALL 28 FLAVORS OF JELLO ON ONE LITTLE COUPON, THAT'S WHY.

Sigh.

I considered asking for a manager because, seriously people, I am spending $242 at your store, can't ya just give me the buck-fifty for the dadgum peanuts? On the same token, maybe I shouldn't be so worked up over $1.50. But the thing is, I spend my precious time - time that I would much rather spend watching the Real Housewives - clipping coupons so that I can save a few bucks, and these schmoes go and give me a hard time about it. The nerve.

Anyway, I left the store with steam shooting out my ears, but at least I left with my dignity...which probably isn't worth a $1.50, come to think of it...